I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
is it fun? or sober?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
