I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
