absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
