i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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