I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
