He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
