I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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