I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
