So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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