just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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