i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
