how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need water and some morals
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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