he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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