If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
