You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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