how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
