I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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