You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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