I want to walk on stilts...naked
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
