If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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