Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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