It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
