Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
