I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
