SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
