I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
