You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dicks are not precious.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
