Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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