Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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