Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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