Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
