the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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