I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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