I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
