If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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