he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She bit a glass in half.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize