Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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