I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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