what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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