can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My life is pants optional.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
