I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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