i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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