She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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