): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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