I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
