Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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