17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
