If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
