If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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