Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
