my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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