They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You pole danced in your parka.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
