What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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