He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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