8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
