so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
