Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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