Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
