it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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