Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
