SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
