Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
