I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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