I think I died a long time ago.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The power of my boobs compel you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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