HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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