I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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