Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
